REWIND: Kryptonite.

So, I wrote this well over two years ago, in regards to the good old FWB (even after I knew he had involved himself with my ex-friend, but before I knew she was pregnant). I guess her being pregnant really shouldn’t have mattered to me (and frankly it wouldn’t have), because my involvement with him, at that point, had more to do with power than anything.

Bear with me, gentle readers, I realize that it may be difficult to keep up with what I’m writing (the sequence of my posts), but this is more or less a stream of consciousness, as this point. I guess this is one of my “woe is me with a broken heart” moments, blaming my dumb decisions on my ex. Yeah, I recognize it. But, this is my blog. I am center.

“You Know I’m No Good” | © 2006 Universal Island Records Ltd.

So the bad news is that I am still dealing with my sleazy FWB. Yep, the guy who supposedly only got  a bj (but we now know the truth, don’t we) from my ex friend. I know it probably seems absurd that I’d still bother with him, but, you can’t rationalize something that’s irrational, so why try?

I am not the type of woman who blames the other woman for a man’s indiscretions (maybe because I’ve been the other woman in other situations). But this girl was a close friend who knew I had trust issues and was vulnerable. Yet, she would lower herself to be intimate with a guy who she knew her friend was dealing with?

Let’s be realistic. Most folks say that I’m lowering myself for dealing with him in the first place; but, especially after the nonsense discussed herein, it’s laughable. And they’re right.

He and I weren’t committed; however, his involvement in this situation with my friend was beyond disrespectful. I know this. It’s inexcusable. I think our lack of an explicit commitment allowed me to give him a little pass (certainly not in my respect files). But he’s my kryptonite.

My friend, on the other hand, was committed to me.

What’s really sick is that in an effort to sabotage what I had going on with him, she told him all of my business (told to her in confidence) — about how he was just a fling, that I didn’t want a relationship, how I was involved with other people, etc.

What kind of friend does that? As far as I’m concerned, she’s dead to me.

But him, on the other hand. Why I entertain his nonsense is inexplicable.

Again, he’s my kryptonite.

So after I saw him (for the last time, or so I told him), he said something very interesting.

Since I lied to him about being involved with someone else, and he was intimate with my friend, he says: “I guess you broke the glass, and I shattered it.”

I need to just clean up the glass and move around.