Again, this is something that I wrote over two years ago, but am just now sharing publicly. You’d think that this would be the end of the saga, but it’s really just the beginning. A few days ago, I wrote about the power of intention, and the importance and necessity of trust (and by extension, loyalty) to make questionable actions not so sinister. This is a perfect example of what not to do. Regardless of intention, blatantly lying is an automatic disqualifier (as it relates to my respect and attention).
So, my last post revolved around a man (I use this term loosely) who I knew was no good for me, but who I was “drawn to”; maybe it was his looks (I wish I wasn’t so superficial), “bad boy” lifestyle, or just the simple act of someone letting me know he’s thinking about me (the random “thinking of you” texts really hooked me in). Nonetheless, he was my “guy” for the moment, and my friends knew it.
So, being the considerate friend that I am, I asked him to help one of my good girlfriends (of about 3 years, at the time) move (from her 4th floor apartment — with no elevator); he reluctantly agreed, and recruited 5 or 6 guys (along with himself) to help her. Sweet. Both he and my
friend live in the same city — about 40 minutes from me — not terribly far, but far enough.
To make an incredibly long story short, while digressing a bit…
My father has the “gift” of foresight. He gets an unsettled feeling in his stomach when something bad is going to happen or if things aren’t quite right; his intuition is usually right on point.
I think I’ve inherited this “gift” (curse?). I am an INFJ, after all. That said, I had a really unsettling feeling that I couldn’t shake.
Also, I am impatient. Instead of letting events unfold as they may, I take on the role of “inspector gadget”.
In ways that I will not divulge, I found out that my
“good friend” had called my guy (and left a “blank” voicemail…she likely called, and hung up before leaving a message). I promise, I’m not a crazy psycho bitch. I am not insecure (definitely not as it related to him). BUT, given my past relationship drama, loyalty & honesty are important to me. I knew that my FWB was a jerk, but not my friend...
I was perturbed that my
friend was in contact with my guy. For what? She had no business calling him. So, without divulging any information, I texted her and (nicely & innocently) asked if she had talked to him at all. Three hours go by, and nothing. At this point my stomach ache is getting worse. I texted her again, and specifically asked if she had tried to call or text him (because he and I were not on the greatest of terms; this was true — see my last post — and I thought that maybe he “blocked me” — or so I said). This second text elicited a response of, “No, but do you want me to?”
At this point, I am heated. This wasn’t about him, it was about the fact that she BLATANTLY lied to me. I heard her fucking phone number on his voicemail. Okay, I knew enough.
As you continue to read (in subsequent posts), you will begin to understand that I am very vulnerable emotionally, so trust is really important to me. I knew what kind of guy my FWB was (he’s a hustler…my friend is kind of…uh, weak…an easy target for a guy like him). I’m not talking about sex, necessarily. Case in point: I watched his ass convince her to let him drive her car the night we helped her move — after we had all been drinking, heavily. She reluctantly agreed.
So, that’s the type of woman we’re dealing with.
Nevertheless, the bitch KNEW everything about what I went through in my last relationship, how important (critical, in fact) honesty is to me (but in a friendship, this goes without saying), yet still lied to me.
At that point, I knew enough. My impatient ass didn’t wait for a half-assed explanation from either of them (What’s the point? A lie is a lie to me). I called them both (neither answered), then hastily left a text message to each, respectively. Yeah, impersonal, but I was pissed.
The texts were not nice, and ended my relationships with each (at least that was my intention). I made it clear that “he” wasn’t the issue, necessarily…loyalty was.
To ruin a friendship over a guy (who’s not even a prize, or relationship material) boggles my mind.
I blocked them both, and had no interest in hearing what either had to say. I may have been rash, but as the song goes…
“These hoes ain’t loyal”…
After all was said and done, I felt like shit. But my stomach-ache was gone. Weird.