I’m an INFJ (Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging — Introverted Intuition with Extroverted Feeling) if you don’t know what this means, look it up. In any case, it’s a rare personality type (based on the Myers-Briggs personality test — its framework based the work of psychologist, Carl Jung), and I was taken aback when someone, who I was only casually acquainted with (at the time), quickly (and randomly) called it out. This person happens to be a mental health and educational professional, so her observations had credence to me.
The conversation quickly shifted to something called the “INFJ Door Slam”. I had never heard of the term, but upon learning about it, **and further research, I completely see this defense mechanism manifesting in my life. As I think about it now, it explains so much about the very extreme (and painstakingly drawn out, yet final, at their resolutions) choices I’ve made (and am making) as it relates to personal relationships (context will be provided when I am not as emotional).
According to the Introvertspring website:
“The decision to resort to a Door-Slam is one of the hardest moments an INFJ will ever face. This is our last resort, our absolute limit. When we do it, we don’t look back. At that point, we are done. This is our ultimate defence mechanism.”
Case in point, be gentle and conscious with the INFJs in your life. Respect our boundaries and our emotions. The boundaries to which I refer are emotional boundaries. If you truly know your INFJ, you know how we tick. You know what sets us off, or more importantly, what we just can’t sit with. Respect that. Our only resort, when we’ve exhausted all other recourse (second chances, trying to rationalize emotionally disrespectful behavior, tolerating spirit vultures, etc.), is to slam the door. For good.
** Trust me, I am not suggesting that the internet — moreover Wikipedia — is reliable research; it just provides context.